so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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