I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
