Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this will be a night to untag.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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