return my video game
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
