I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize