You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
