Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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