and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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