Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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