I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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