dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize