Plan B is the new Plan A
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize