ugly people sure do ruin things
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
