dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
