Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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