Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
