You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
