how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
