try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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