But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize