My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
