we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
