ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
