That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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