Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just google imaged poop.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
