I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
