There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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