We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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