Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
