He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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