I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
