so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
