Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
