Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
