My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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