It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he thought i was a dude.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We left the knife in your bed.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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