you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
