my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
