I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize