I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
