One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
