yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
