So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
