Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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