so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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