I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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