drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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