Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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