i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
