He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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