OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My penis needs a shock collar
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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