Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
