sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
