woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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