He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
