He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
