i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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