no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm bleeding and have questions
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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