Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
