i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
