Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
