I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
