how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
