TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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