I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize