If i come over, it means nothing
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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