I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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