Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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