its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
