Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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