you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Nicole vs. Life
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i out mim tonsoeep
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