I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
