we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
