there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
